I've come to realise, since I hit my 30s, I've become a definite creature of habit. Before children my organisation was done in my head and I knew exactly which heap every single item I owned was in. Now everything has its place; I strive to avoid piles of washing everywhere, everything gets ironed, Small Boy and Smaller Boy have regular toy rotations, the tv is only on for specific shows. A sign of maturity? A sign of being a proper grown up? No, I don't think it is. Despite being more organised on the outside, I have a mind which resembles my sock drawer. I was much more organised and efficient before I started trying to be and I have to-do lists for my to-do lists.
For instance, I now have everything we need for the next day prepared and in the right place the night before, all carefully completed from the to-do list and the sub to-do list. Bags are packed and by the door; shoes are out and the keys are in the door. Its not that its possible to forget these things but it makes me feel better, as does the ticking and highlighting of the lists. Sounds organised, yes? No, because I spend at least half an hour before I fall asleep thinking about whether or not I've put the right vest out for Smaller Boy, or whether the coat I've put out for Small Boy will be suitable for a morning with the childminder and an afternoon at nursery. Then I start thinking about other things; when is the next Mulberry sale? Should I start jogging? Maybe I should spend time with Small Boy doing his letters during breakfast instead of letting him watch Bing. Its exhausting. By the time I fall asleep I've managed to become unrelaxed. I wake up. I wake up again. I add to the to-do list. And then I can hear my alarm...If I'd just stuck to the routine I'm used to then none of these things would occur to me. Yes, the morning would be rushed but let's face it, it is anyway! At least I'd be moderately exhausted instead of feeling like I've had a night on the vino. And I would have saved about 2 hours by not painstakingly packing the bags for all eventualities.
So this week I've given myself the chance to do what comes naturally; I must admit, I was a bit scared about the consequences (admittedly, a lot less scared than my husband) but this week there were a lot of appointments and interruptions so I thought, why not? Ok, so first change: the to-do lists are in the bin. Second change: Sunday night. Usually its filled with 3 loads of ironing, an hour hanging up and organising outfits for the week, pairing socks and packing bags. Not tonight. I ironed what we'd need for the next day and put them away into the wardrobes, that would give the opportunity to change our minds on what we were wearing. Odd socks went into their drawers without their buddies and the rest of the washing hung out in the tub. I sat and watched a film in bed and then fell asleep. It was the most relaxed night I've had in ages.
Monday morning: a bit rushed but absolutely no worse than any other Monday morning. Small Boy found his own shoes and coat, Smaller Boy just wore whatever outfit was pulled out of the wardrobe and, after a bit of rushing about to pack snacks for both boys, we were ready to hit the road. I think what helped was that I had to focus on what was necessary for the day, when its already done I tend to find things to do or give in to activity request by Small Boy which inevitably hold us up. The more time I have, the more I need. Everyone dressed, childminder's on time, work on time, all good.
I wont bore you with the specifics but my Winging It strategies this week have been:
- One option for breakfast for Small Boy and Smaller Boy - no options, no questions, just presented them with it. They both ate.
- All clothes that are not suitable, either in size or season, were taken out of the wardrobe. The rest of the clothes are fine and can be taken out when they're needed instead of endless options being put out the night before.
- Most clothes match. A stripey vest does not require stripey socks in a pastel shade.
- Cup of tea before anything else in the morning. Planning it for 0.2 minutes before I have to leave the house means I don't get one. Then I'm grumpy.
- Buy lunch on the way to work: no three hour agonising whether its tasty, low calorie, different to the day before. Nope: you have ten minutes to get to work, buy that or go hungry.
- Dump bags in the hallway on a night; only take out bottles and food/drinks. Then replenish in the morning rather than re-packing later.
- Wash hair on a morning. The length of time it takes me to sort out bed hair is the same length of time it takes to wash and blow dry it, and it looks better.
- Style it out - don't admit to forgetting anything. Nod and smile.
- Use the same handbag each day; use a big bag and just keep everything in there. Every time I change handbags I lose something. Not too bad when its a pen but slightly more annoying when its keys. Or the Storm Trooper; you never know when you'll need a Storm Trooper.
- Sack the gym, go for a run. Its free and at home.
- Accept at least 50% of the invitations given for the week, not all social engagements require a 3 day planning window. Find a way. The more spontaneity the better. Go.
- Gel nails. Why have I only just allowed myself to buy into this? I know they'll last so I don't need to plan an appointment for a day before an event and then 'getting ready doesn't extend to 24 hours +.
- Make up bag in the car - no, not for traffic light stops, for the car park at work. No interruptions, natural light.
- Box of toys in the car: there's always in car entertainment we don't have to think about.
- TV whenever. The boys have plenty of time doing activities that the TV at home is not the end of the world.
- Drink water - constantly. Being hydrated = concentration = less stressed.
- Stop making lists! Oh, the irony...
